Forsaken
by teaing
Summary: Shounen-ai. AU ^^ Several years after DN Angel plotline. Satoshi vanished after a fight with Dark, why did he leave and what happened to Dark? [Updated! Chapter 2 is up!]
1. Prelude Farewells

Forsaken 

Disclaimer: "DN Angel" its characters and anything else pertaining to the series is owned by Yukiru Sugisaki. 

This story is done for entertainment purposes only; no profit is being made from this.

Rating: PG-13

Category: kinda AU, slight angst, romance?

Author's note: Probably Satoshi is a bit OOC but this is intentionally done, as I wanted a bit of more insight into him. I thought he looked so sad in the latest Asuka issue…T_T 

R&R please!! Shall I continue this? Author needs encouragement to continue! Please let me know what you think! YAOI(male/male) Oh and I want beta readers… so ^^; yea e-mail if you would like to. (Mew_95@yahoo.com)

Prelude~ Farewell

_My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains_

_My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk,_

_Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains_

_One minute past, and Lethe-wards had sunk:_

_'Tis not through envy of thy happy lot,_

_But being too happy in thine happiness,-_

_That thou, light-winged Dryard of the trees,_

_In some melodious plot_

_Of beechen green, and shadows numberless,_

_Singest of summer in full-throated ease._

~John Keats, Ode to a Nightingale

The snow was falling again; it's soft caresses falling down on the earth as thick blanket. Satoshi watched the snowfall from inside, he sighed letting his blue hair cover part of his face as he leaned it against the glasses' cold frame. 'As cold as this glass…' he thought closing his eyes briefly.

Autumn was not yet over but the weather was so cold snow had already started falling. It made no difference to Satoshi, however, whether it was spring or autumn, or summer or winter… it was all the same. He was always alone. 

At one time it bothered him but not any longer, the longer he had been alone…well he had grown used to it. It was the curse of the Hikari blood- his curse and his only. This curse than condemned him to solitude for his entire life. Krad eating him from inside; every day taking a little more until there would be nothing but an empty shell- Krad would then be free…

Every day Krad pushed him a little more towards the edge. At one time the more the ice demon had pressed down on him the more Satoshi had risen back against Krad, to regain control and to keep him away. Until that one night… 

With an arrogant gesture Satoshi brushed his blue hair aside and sighed wistfully, his sharp eyes scanned the street and the memories assaulted him. 

_/Flashback/_

_"Hiwatari-kun…ano…arigato…for yesterday." Daisuke said timidly, a light red blush spreading across his cheeks._

_"It's alright." Satoshi replied in his usual icy tone devoid of any emotion whatsoever. "I didn't want to hurt you, I want to capture Dark-Mousy, hurting you is a different matter." He added and bit his lip, the words came out but they didn't make any sense to him._

_"But I am Dark…"_

_"I know…"_

_"Then why don't you-"_

_"It wouldn't be fair." Satoshi cut-in quickly, he felt a light pain in his chest again and covered it by looking away. _

_Daisuke flashed him a small smile, and stepped past Satoshi, brushing his shoulder unintentionally against Satoshi's, "…I'll see you tonight then…"_

_"Hn…" Satoshi muttered thoughtfully as the first snowflake drifted down, landing on his cheek, he raised his hand and whipped it off effortlessly. _

_/Flashback/_

But those days were gone. Now in their place were the everlasting emptiness of his soul and the pale snow that dropped once again from the sky above. The snow was falling again, landing on Satoshi's cheek, melting when it came to contact with the warm flesh. He was here once again and the snow seemed to greet him- or rather greet Krad.

Home. Yes, it had to be. Home. Then why was there an unfamiliar air? He was home and yet there was something missing. Home…if he really was home why did Satoshi had the urge to flee once more?

End of Prelude~

Notes: Please R&R ^^


	2. Chapter 1 Clashes of Personality

Forsaken 

Disclaimer: "DN Angel" its characters and anything else pertaining to the series is owned by Yukiru Sugisaki. 

This story is done for entertainment purposes only; no profit is being made from this.

Rating: PG-13

Category: kinda AU, slight angst, romance?

Author's note: This chapter is kinda aimed at the relationship that Satoshi and Krad have… so it's not a very happy chapter… O_o anyhow! Thanks for your reviews peeps! ^_^ *glomps all* Any comments, ideas, criticisms at mew_95@yahoo.com. Thanks! ^_^

Special thanks to Sley-chan for being my beta-reader!! *glomps* Danke! ^^

Chapter one- Clashes of personality

O, for a draught of vintage! That hath been

Cool'd a long age in the deep-delved earth,

_Tasting of Flora and the country green,_

_Dance, and Provencal song, and sunburnt mirth!_

_O for a beaker full of the warm South,_

_With beaded bubbles winking at the brim,_

_And purple-stained mouth;_

_That I might drink, and leave the world unseen,_

_And with thee fade away into the forest dim_

~John Keats, Ode to a nightingale

"I wonder how much has Daisuke-kun changed." Satoshi whispered to himself as he opened the window of the hotel room. The air still chilly with the ever-lingering frost stung his cheeks but he ignored it and continued to watch the snow falling.

Krad was getting restless. Satoshi could feel the ice demon pushing his presence against the careful barrier he was ensnared in. A barrier that had taken years for Satoshi to master, unfortunately it did not rid him of Krad completely but it kept the blond at bay. It kept him away when Satoshi didn't feel like dealing with Krad any longer; however Krad's strength had been increasing, slowly but surely and Satoshi didn't know how much longer he could banish the blond demon. 

The fact that they were back here made Krad fight with a renewed strength. Satoshi pressed his hand towards his heart as if that action would also suppress Krad. "Why won't you leave me alone? I hate you Krad, I HATE YOU!" Satoshi's voice rose and fell when he realized that inside Krad was laughing. He was laughing at Satoshi. Laughing in his face.

'Surely Satoshi-sama you would miss me if I were gone.' Krad's voice intruded his thoughts, cutting sharply through Satoshi's emotions as a knife through butter.

'Hardly Krad, I assure you that my life would be better without you. It was better without you and it wouldn't be like this if YOU weren't here.' Satoshi retorted, making his words sound sharp.

Conversations with Krad were constantly like this, not far different from sparing matches between two swordsmen. But this was an unending duel, a struggle that neither side could win. They were stuck forever and always and ever after. 'Till death do us part.' The blue haired boy mused morbidly.

And death would do them part one day. Occasionally Satoshi would feverishly pray for that day to arrive soon. But he couldn't.  Krad would not let Satoshi die. The Japanese boy was much too important for the ice demon to allow him to escape. For as long as there were the Hikari, so would there be Krad. And for as long as there were Niwa, so would there be Dark. 

Krad and Dark. Two sides of the same coin like star crossed lovers. Two people who had just happened to be at the wrong place in the wrong time. The irony was just too great and Satoshi laughed. The sound was rough and unsuited for someone as young as Satoshi.

Deep down, however, Satoshi was older than apparent; though Krad annoyed him- harassed him- disturbed him- Krad also gave him a deeper inner wisdom -a simple understanding of things that would have otherwise been beyond Satoshi's fingertips. When trying to catch Dark it had it's advantages, but Krad woke inside of him the worst desires.

At one time the ice demon would plague him with nightmares of things he had done. Needless to say Satoshi was the more decent descendant of the Hikari clan. Satoshi's clan had been cursed with Krad so long that no one could really recall the exact events. Krad would take a sickening delight in telling Satoshi the tales of his ancestors, and of how and why he had been sealed inside the Hikari bloodline. 

'Lies.' Satoshi would have liked to dismiss them all as lies, but there was far too much truth in them. Although Krad liked his versions of the same tale to vary from time to time, the events had a repeated pattern that the blue haired youth had come to recognize.

'Truth- my dearest Satoshi-sama, is harder to accept and it hurts so much more.' Such a mocking tone, so like Krad. If Krad was the sadist, twisting the knife deeper, then Satoshi was a masochist. 

Revolting but truthful. To some extent Satoshi was so used to Krad's constant attacks, that he had come to enjoy them. 'To a little degree, disgusting indeed.' Satoshi snorted and turned his attention to the wine glass that had been placed on the small bedside table a while back.

'You don't need to admit it out loud Satoshi, without me you are nothing- you are corrupt like the rest of your clan. You may be the last one, but each and everyone one of the Hikari have suffered my curse and now they rot in the fiery flames of the underworld.'

'Don't you know, it was your clan who brought this upon themselves. Who summoned me from beyond this world and the price I asked of you, did not seem much at the time.'

Satoshi didn't answer; instead he lifted the wine glass and sipped the edge of it delicately. The wine was sweet and the luscious scent filling Satoshi's nostrils, dulled his senses a bit. But the only thing alcohol could not do, was to drown out Krad; it could drown his senses but not Krad. That blonde demon would only take advantage of the situation if Satoshi allowed himself to get too carried away. Like he had done before.

No, if there was one thing the Hikari should not do is use their emotions. The results of that tended to be disastrous. Correction- no, not 'tended to', _were_ catastrophic. Satoshi was living proof of that.

'Of course you are, dearest one. You are a Hikari; did you really expect anything else from yourself? I had begun to feel disappointed until that night-'

Krad didn't finish his sentence, for Satoshi had blocked him out completely again.  Krad laughed about this once more. 'You can run away from him- from your life, but Satoshi-sama you can never escape me and who you really are.'

****

Satoshi stared emptily at the wall. It was no the first time he had heard all of this from Krad, but being back here made the reality feel more painful all of a sudden. Too painful. 

_//Flashback//_

_"I'll see you tonight then." Daisuke's young, innocent face flashed a shy smile to Satoshi._

_"Hn…" the snowflake landed on Satoshi's cheek and he whipped it off effortlessly as he watched Daisuke disappear down the street._

_'My Satoshi-sama you seem upset…' Krad's taunting voice caused Satoshi to tense up, hastily pushing away any feelings… any thoughts away from Krad's reach._

_'No.' Satoshi said sharply. 'I have a job tonight Krad and I don't want you to interfere in it.' _

_'But I can help you to catch Dark, surely you want my help.' Krad purred, 'you want my help… you want to catch Dark and you want the boy. You want him -I can feel it.'_

_Satoshi opened his mouth to protest but Krad interrupted, 'No use denying it Satoshi darling, I can see right through you, no matter how hard you try to shield yourself from me.'_

_The blue haired boy didn't know what propelled him to confess to Krad. Maybe because for a second he felt that the blonde demon had something more to offer to him. Perchance Satoshi was just longing for a piece of advice, and the topic was not one he could just go up to anyone and ask. Whatever the reason was- despite their clashes of personality- he confessed._

_'Niwa-kun loves Riku.' Satoshi thought slowly, the idea of them together causing more than a stir in his blood. Krad smiled silently but did not reply for a while._

_Krad tapped his lips thoughtfully and paused, thinking of the right words to say. 'Your blood stirs in anger and frustration Satoshi-sama. Why?' _

_The blue haired boy glanced dejectedly at the sidewalk for a second 'Niwa-kun…because Niwa-kun was not like the others. He was not cold- or afraid of me and all I wanted…all I wanted…' Silence fell again._

_'All you wanted Satoshi-sama was…?' Krad enquired still smirking to himself._

_'All I wanted Krad, was for Daisuke-kun to… love me.'_

_Triumph. Krad suppressed his laughter and instead comforted the young boy. 'That can be changed Satoshi dear. That can all be changed.' The blonde demon smiled. This had been a lot simpler than he had expected it to be._

_//End of Flashback//_

It had been a mistake. But Satoshi had been young then, young but not innocent. Did that excuse his weakness then? Satoshi could not help reproaching himself for confessing to Krad. Deep down Satoshi had known that the blonde demon would undoubtedly have used this knowledge to his own advantage if the situation suited him.

Krad had done that; taken advantage of one moment's weakness and with that he had managed to ruin the rest of Satoshi's life. Still the price to pay for such a moment of weakness was high.

****

Krad glanced angrily at his confinement, his cage inside his beloved Satoshi-sama. Though Satoshi constantly mused on having changed, Krad had to disagree with that. Sure Satoshi was not as easy to manipulate anymore, but Krad had not been alive for several centuries and counting without learning anything.

Admittedly Krad had never enjoyed himself as much as he did with Satoshi. The last member from the Hikari clan had an amazing personality under that ice exterior. Underneath Satoshi was like fire- intense, consuming and deadly.

It was amazing and Krad knew it. Those years back he had taken a sick pleasure in taunting Satoshi about Daisuke. The ice demon loved seeing the stir of emotion it caused on the young blue haired boy. 

Liquid fire was the best way to describe it. Whenever Daisuke was mentioned, Satoshi's usual placid flow of emotions would turn into an intense, liquid- like fire. The demon feasted upon it time after time.

****

_//Ancient Japan//_

_People seem to constantly forget things. That's why history repeats itself, and stories that were once freshly imprinted in people's mind become legend- myth- nothing but bedtime stories for children._

_But there was a time in which the old myths were kept alive. The time where samurais still roamed Japan. A very long time ago demons walked among humans like gods, and like all fairytales start, things between the two races worked out fine._

_However demon nature was a treacherous thing, inevitably a war broke out, lead by the demons, but not all demons turned their back on men. The most remarkable among those was Dark- whose fierce fighting helped banish many corrupted demons into another dimension._

_The war was won, and demons banished. The link between the two dimensions was closed with wards and shrines, and in each shrine a family was named to keep the demons from within asleep and to make sure this legend would not be forgotten._

Time passed, no one knows how much exactly, but the shrines were kept intact and each family always looking faithfully after each one. But people constantly forget things…

There was nothing special about this temple. Nothing out of the ordinary except for it's keepers- the Hikari clan. Unlike the other clans the Niwa, Arisugawa, Kishou… the Hikari were the least pleased at being ordered to protect the holy shrine and make sure the demon stayed sealed within.

Just an ordinary day for everyone, the gardens neatly arranged, and the incense burners that hung from the ceiling swayed slowly in the wind. Sun was shinning brightly, the birds were chirping. It was like a perfect scene depicted in a painting.

The man's _expression was serene. His steely blue eyes were focused on the vibrant fire in front of him. Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Breath out. He continued this breathing pattern for a couple of minutes more before finally standing up.

"I summon the demon of ice- to wreck revenge on all the enemies of the Hikari clan. Hear my call and awaken."

_"I hear your call." A low hiss and the flames flickered higher turning a blue/white colour. Ice blue eyes looked out from inside the fire and then- darkness._

_****_

Satoshi awoke.

All these years of running, lying, hating, confused emotions… the blue haired boy was not entirely sure of why he was back here- back at the place where it all began.  Coming back here only meant one thing. It was time to end this all- whatever the outcome was, the circle had to stop.

  
  
End of chapter 1

Next chapter- _Meetings_


	3. Chapter 2 Meetings

Forsaken 

****

****

**Disclaimer**: "DN Angel" its characters and anything else pertaining to the series is owned by Yukiru Sugisaki. 

This story is done for entertainment purposes only; no profit is being made from this.

Rating: PG-13

**Category**: kinda AU, slight angst, romance?

**Author's note**: Miaow =3 Sorry this part has taken so long but I been really busy with school work and working on my web site. ^-^ Which you should all go check out, please? ^^;; Also a big thank you to everyone who has reviewed. ^^ You guys keep the story going.

R&R please!! Author needs encouragement to continue! Please let me know what you think! **Shounen ai (male/male)**

Chapter two- Meetings

Fade far away, dissolve, and quite forget 

_What thou among the leaves hast never known,_

_The weariness, the fever, and the fret_

_Here, where men sit and hear each other groan;_

_Where palsy shakes a few, sad, last grey-hairs,_

_Where youth grows pale, and spectre-thin, and dies;_

_Where but to think it to be full of sorrow_

_And leaden-eyed despairs,_

_Where Beauty cannot keep her lustrous eyes,_

_Or new Love pine at them beyond tomorrow._

~John Keats, Ode to a Nightingale

What was the time? Satoshi blinked as the ceiling came to focus. Feathers, white as the snow falling outside littered his bed. Had he become Krad? Impossible! Satoshi dismissed the idea as another lunatic fantasy of his. 

But… the blue-haired boy would swear he tasted the blood on his lips. Wiping his mouth then padding softly to the bathroom, Satoshi rinsed his mouth out several times trying to wash out the metallic taste. 'How do you know for sure you did not become me?' Krad's melodic voice called in his head.

"Because I didn't." Satoshi added with a finite tone. But the echo of Krad's voice would not go away. That melodic voice which tempted men. The sweet tune that was a mermaid's song, inviting, enticing men to jump overboard. That voice which by having ensnared Satoshi's mind only once had destroyed his life.

'Will you linger here all day Satoshi-sama? Or do you plan on seeking out the boy.' Krad enquired with a tone of amusement. Every emotion inside Satoshi was fuel for the demon to feast upon. Force that would be used against Satoshi when Krad wished to do so. 'You know you want to, I can feel it inside of you, the blush behind your ears, the sudden rush of blood to your pounding heart. Satoshi-sama, you can't fool me.'

With new-felt annoyance the young detective rose from bed. Padding over to the bathroom he opened the tap and splashed his face several times with icy water. Ever since that day… in which his life had been swept away and he'd been forced to run. Run away and hide in Tokyo, working as a freelance detective, occasionally speaking to his surrogate father. It had not been easy.

Daisuke. Where are you now? The thought of the red-haired boy's name was enough to stir feelings so intense- so pure- feelings that scared Krad at times. Slipping his shirt off Satoshi replaced it with a clean one hanging from the towel rack. 

The dirty shirt found its way into the laundry basket along with a pair of trousers and socks. Satoshi exited the bathroom and opened a drawer pulling a fresh pair of socks. They were white with a red stripe. The blue-haired boy sat on the edge of the bed and slipped on the socks. Krad had remained silent while Satoshi got ready.

A tie was taken from the closet, blue with snowflakes. A rather comical, light-hearted pattern that would be more suited to someone like Daisuke. Satoshi slid the tie over his shoulders, lifted his collar and tied it not needing to see his reflection in the mirror to know what he was doing. After the tie was done and the collar fixed he returned to the bathroom to brush his hair.

'Satoshi-sama is looking so pretty…' Krad purred seductively and Satoshi shuddered at the flash of desire he sensed from the ice demon. 

'Stop it Krad, you know I find you to be the most disgusting thing in this world. And in this life and the next and any other life I'm going to be stuck with you.'

Krad laughed but fell silent. Satoshi gritted his teeth and headed to the door putting his shoes on. The he headed out into the street. Snow was still falling lightly but not as much as before. That was a pleasant thought. 

The streets were empty although the hour was not really late. Snow covered the tops of trees and a path had to be cleared out in the sidewalk so one could walk without falling and breaking something.

Satoshi wondered if hurting himself would hurt Krad. It was not a healthy thought but he wondered, when Krad had hurt so had Satoshi, so wouldn't things work the same way around?

The older boy spent a good deal staring at the differently lit store windows but distinctly refused to head in the direction he had originally meant to go- Daisuke's home.

'Quit your stalling Satoshi-sama, the sooner you get there, the sooner I can kill the boy…'

'And what makes you think I will allow that?' Satoshi replied coldly as he entered a store, just any store, hoping the buzz and noise about him would distract his mind from Krad. 

'You didn't stop me last time.' Krad laughed mockingly and Satoshi had to remind himself he was in public to abstain from punching something.

'But this is not last time Krad, nothing will go how you want it to go anymore.' Satoshi treaded about the shop trying to concentrate in the ornaments, the candles…it was a beauty shop of some kind.

The strange incensed aromas penetrated Satoshi's nose as the boy moved about looking at the different sized candles. His hand stopped to pick up one of them. Red, with a cinnamon odour, the blue haired boy found himself reaching out for it… only to grab someone else's hand.

Someone who had also been attracted by the red candle.

Daisuke Niwa. 

The world was spinning too fast. Satoshi felt his fingers itch as he kept a steady hold on Daisuke's hand. The boy didn't recognize him. His innocent red eyes blinked several times as if trying to understand what had happened. Daisuke had not changed a bit, although he had matured.

"Gomen…" Satoshi felt blood rush to his cheeks and dropped Daisuke's hand in one quick motion. 

"It's alright…" Daisuke muttered awkwardly, his voice had not changed, still that sweet tone full of naivety and innocence. "Demo… you seem familiar sir…"

Satoshi felt his heart get heavy, "Hai Daisuke-kun, we do know one another…"

"How do you know my-?" Daisuke seemed to grow thoughtful for a moment, and then his pleasant look disappeared only to be left with one of pure anger and hatred. "Hiwatari-san!" Daisuke growled before turning to leave.

Out of pure impulse Satoshi reached out for Daisuke, "Wait Daisuke-kun, let me talk to you-"

"You have no right to be here." Daisuke said yanking his arm out of Satoshi's grip. Their voices were rising and the other customers in the store seemed annoyed by the row occurring. 

"I used to live in this town too-"

"And if I could kick you out I would, believe me I would." Daisuke said stepping away from Satoshi and turning to leave. The blue-haired boy, however, was not about to let the reason of his visit escape so easily. 

"Daisuke-san, please wait!" Satoshi said hurrying behind him after they left the store. "Just… please… I just want to talk to you- ask for your forgivness!"

"Well-" Daisuke said turning around and smiling maliciously, "I guess you wasted your time Hiwatari-san, because I will never forgive you."

"You hear me? Never!" Daisuke finished before turning and heading down the street. Satoshi resisted the urge to follow the buy and suppressed a sigh. 

'Could have been worse…' he thought cynically.

'Oh, I don't know, that whole scene was rather amusing.' Krad purred happily. 'I really liked the way he said- 'never forgive you.' The tone behind that was just-'

'Shut up.' Satoshi thought bitterly, 'Now I know why you were all so quiet and happy.'

'I love him Krad.' Satoshi thought suddenly still glancing in the direction Daisuke had gone, 'I love him and he will hear me out. Even if I have to stand under his window and sing out what really happened that night…'

'Oh pleaaaaaaase!' Krad mocked, 'You want to wash your hands clean of what happened that night Satoshi-sama? You can't. No matter how far you run, how much you hide, how much you reflect every night, the past won't change.'

'You are still a murderer.'

End of chapter 2

Next chapter- _Remembrances_

Note: For lack of updates… ^^; I been very busy lately and I was suffering from writer's block… anyways this is just the first draft because my beta reader has not sent me back the corrected version but I wanted to put this up anyways. R&R please! ^^


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